Butler for hire - Printable Version

I will play your butler but please:
-be vaguely rich so it makes sense
-have friends over so I can make them wait 47 minutes for me to finish my cooking rp double post to hand them a 12% cooking energy salmon filet with no pow bonus
-don't die or I'll have to be a janitor at starfall (they are understaffed rn)
-help me think of a build I can not build I can not do it my brain does not work
-let's say I've been working for you for a year or whatever so you can trust me and we don't have to go through the song of dance of "oh was I not supposed to befriend the demon is that not cool in osrona" or "egads I can't believe you're making sylvanum, can I have some" or whatever
-it would be nice if there is space for me to farm

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what I can do for you:
-make your character seem cooler to everyone because you have a butler
-I'll max out life skills as soon as I can and make things for you, when the update drops I will be so powerful I will overthrow your rule
-Dual crafter I can't help myself, I will be around for your own artifice scenes and produce dev items and maybe uniques
-Your worst rival will kidnap me forcing you to save me from their evil lair
-I can be a sparring partner training dummy and give you a false sense of security because of how easily you beat me
-I am addicted to making weird and wacky systems through dev items and will likely pursue this through cooking or farming