[Aene]

Chapter One: Ash


To be the voice of reason is a painstaking endeavor.

I am, I fear, one of the last to take action. This is a mistake in that I don't enjoy a fight- I do. I love the sense of endeavor and flame and toil it brings. The ache of muscles and the clash of steel against steel, fighting for a purpose of justice and truth. There is nothing more truthful than a magi and his power attempting to best your own. I fear, however, that the only thing many think of is this impromptu 'clash'. All they live for is the lust and fire of battle. Perhaps, in the Order, that isn't unwarranted. We are both the sword, and the shield. Many think only of the sword. To cut away the swath of regret and darkness, to better the life of those above and to shield against those 'lesser'. If only they knew that many among them were also those they would call 'lesser', they might work a little harder.

I am Berrios Falstaff. Cadet of the Vandigan Blazing Lions in the Order of the First Light. Many call me friend, none call me enemy, and I call myself afraid. Not of conflict, not of standing fast shoulder-to-shoulder with those I deem my brothers in arms. But the consequence of my actions, and the things that the future brings.

There is strife and turmoil. Dissent among ranks of both the nobility and the 'slums' of Sudbury. I have friends wanting to go against one another. I have heard second-guesses and accusations. It pains me to hear such things. I pride myself as the mediator, the one that wants to fix the broken things. With so much broken, how can one man think themselves enough to fix it? By most standards, I'm not even a man. I'm no knight; just a cadet. I get a laugh because I use big words. I like to read. I never sense envy from my peers, but I know they find it weird how I switch between gutter slang and six-syllable words in the same sentence.

I am a product of my upbringing, and also the solution of my hard work. I have made myself better. I wish only that others could do the same. I don't define myself for where I was born, but what I strive for. Knight. Exarch. High and beyond the likes of dirt and ash that I was born in. I want to serve, to do better. I have many friends who look to me for their troubles. I don't want to falter in their wake.

...

I haven't had a good nights rest in quite some time. Perhaps it's from Radiant Vandigans midnight runs. More than likely, its all the stress. I fear my hair will grow grey before twenty.

I'll seek an alchemist to remedy it.