Astrid cos Salis: A Noble's Journal

[TopRa]

Chapter 3:
War Never Changes

"Haha. I can't believe i was such an idiot to get myself into such a situation. I mean, for the record...i was traumatized by what happened during that battle. It was even worst than the last one. There i was getting all excited about fighting to stop this war....only for me to become another number on the battlefield.. I was just another soldier. No one cared about me. My own squad left me to die during the battle of Starlight Tower. I...didn't even know what happened to my comrades. It's a surprise that i actually lived. Whether it be Sae's grace or just dumb luck, the experience was painful, to say the least. To think that i would stumble into Myllenoris, enemy territory, during my exhausted stupor is...well, almost laughable. But i did learn one thing during my stay in Myllenoris. Things...aren't always as they seem. You see, war tends to cloud things. Both sides forming their own lies and calling them truths so that they could justify their own reasons for fighting. If...there's one thing i learned while trying to find the truth, neither side is right. War is war. No matter how many times you try to justify it. And...sometimes you have to get your hands dirty to find the truth. So...i did just that. Sadly....the truth always ends up becoming stranger than fiction. There's no such thing as war being a noble and necessary venture in order to keep the peace. It...will never change. No matter how many times it may occur. War is....inevitable

X/X/1737 AC

Myllenoris. The...city hidden within the forest. That's...where i am right now. To think i'd be so foolish to walk into enemy territory. I...guess i might have to explain what happened. The Battle of Starlight Tower happened yesterday. I was assigned to a squad of soldiers led by one of the Knights of Osrona. Everything's a blur, if i'm being honest. It pains me to even think about what happened again. But....i need to write this down. War is truly an evil, evil thing. Alot happened in the past few days, it seemed. My squad left me to die as i was hit by a stray mana blast directly to the forehead. Giving me a concussion and knocking me out as the rest of the war raged on. I'm surprised i'm still alive, if i'm being honest. Hundreds of men probably passed over my body thinking i was dead. Hours passed before i had woken up to discover that...i was alive after all. That the battle was nearing it's conclusion. Given how terrible my vision is...i just...walked. I walked and walked and walked until i found myself near a pile of bodies. Almost...stepping on a soldier. I looked down at him...seeing how bloodshot and cold his lifeless eyes were. It's an image that...i'll never get out of my head. I closed his eyes for him. He...was so young. Barely a bit older than myself. Someone's son had died that day for...almost nothing. I..took his coat and cloaked myself to shield myself from the cold. I'm...sorry that i had to do to you, mister. Well, eventually, i found myself stumbling into Myellenoris. Heh...ironic isn't it? Cetta caught me as i collapsed on the street and took me to Princess Amalia so that i can be healed. And....thats when i saw him.

Esbern

My love...oh...i was so happy! But...also so sad. To see him in such a disgusting state. The life was...drained from his eyes. Once i find who did this to him i.'m gonna.....no, I'm not going to do that. I'm better than that. O-or...at least i think i am. We came up with a plan, however. A plan to keep me in Myllenoris while i hid under the guise of...well, a disguise. Amber Sonata. That's what i choose to call myself from now on. A...traveling, foreign businesswoman. *sigh. I'm so sorry to have to do this to my brothers. They must be in so much pain to know that i am missing in action. But...i need to free Esbern. I need to get to the bottom of things and discover the truth of this war. Being Amber will be my key to doing so. From this day forward, i....choose to be Amber Sonata. And even if it kills me...i WILL find the truth...

X/X/1737 AC

Well...that didn't last very long. Looks like i was....found out. It seems my guise as Amber Sonata did...not go as well as i thought it would. It was foolish of me to think Amy would keep such a secret from her mother, after all. Well, it looks like my excursions with Esbern will have to be put on hold for the time being. I...honestly am extremely lucky that i was not captured. For now, it seems entering Myllenoris is a fool's errand. Though, i will  admit...it was fun being with Esbern even if it was for such a little time. I think it's best i head home now and actually make myself known. It would be a waste for me to label as 'missing in action' for any moment longer considering that i'm fine. For the most part. I just hope the King will forgive my reasons...

X/X/1738 AC

Today was....quite the experience! As i write this entry, i am now officially a Knight of the Order of the First Light. My efforts paid off!  Years of hard work and training had prepared me for this moment! I must admit i am extremely joyful about today's events! Even if...Esbern may not be here to celebrate with me. I admit I'm surprised that the King willfully brushed off my excursions to Myllenoris. To think that he'd find me honorable enough to Knight me. I...guess i did better than i thought in the previous battles. I cannot let him down.  From today forward, i promise to become the best Knight i can possibly be. I fight to protect the people of my city with honor.  And until the day i die, i will fight for justice and peace across Esshar. Hehe...i just hope Grandmother is proud of me! I...don't plan on letting her down. I'm going to soar above everyone's expectations. This world is such an awful place after all. If I can just....make it better. Even if it is a little bit. I think i can be happy. And with this new armor gracing my frame, i will become that light of hope. I just wish that this armor was...a little bit bigger. It's certainly tight in the...uh...chest area. *ahem. Kraus, I hope Eric doesn't read this. I need to get this adjusted....

X/X/1738 AC

It has been a week since i've been officially Knighted. And too be frank, my duties havent...changed much since i was a Cadet. Hehe. Well it wasn't so bad! Helping others in Osrona has certainly been fun! The glances coming my way are certainly appreciative as well. Even if they are a little bit embarrassing. I guess my outift does certainly stand out more than my old ones. But i sure do look 'badass' as the Rhyonish say!  Oh! But i helped some children save their cat from getting stuck in a tree! The tree may be....destroyed now but...w-we can plant more! I'd rather not talk about that. Anyway! Let's see....besides that, i helped some cadets with their own combat training,  helped an old woman by giving her directions to the church, taught some students about Sae and the stars,  did some paperwork,  did some...more paperwork, and i met with a young fellow named Atilus! He was certainly a treat to talk too. Even if his life story was...a little overwhelming. Though, i admit...he has a good heart. We need more people like him in our ranks. Most Knights seem to care about stroking their egos and getting with handmaidens. Atilus would be a...nice change of pace. His sense of chivalry was certainly noteable. We had a very interesting and insightful conversation about war amongst some other things. I just feel awful for his sister, Amelia. I...hope things work out for them. She seemed to be cooped up in her room the entire time. Here's hoping i can meet her one day. Staying cooped up in your room all day is...unhealthy. I  would know...

X/X/1738 AC

What...am i even fighting for?

Such a cryptic way to start a journal entry, i know. But...today was eventful, to say the least. My brain is full of emotion. Happiness, Sadness, Confusion, Fear, and...even anger. I feel...angry.  As if i was betrayed. I've kept my emotions hidden for the most part. I don't to want anyone worry after all. But after my talk with Regulus, it makes me wonder...who truly is in the right? What...am i fighting for? Oh, i should explain today's events to clear my thoughts. Esbern is a free man thanks to Lord Regulus's kindness. I was sent a letter a few days ago asking for a meeting with me and him to discuss Esbern's freedom. Something that seemed like an obvious trap. But knowing Lord Regulus, he seemed to be honorable enough to not pull such a dirty trick such as that. Even then, it was a blatant risk walking into Myllenoris with full knight armor and the Order sigil emblazoned into my shoulder pad. Basically, an extremely bad idea. But..despite the odds, it all worked out. Lord Regulus gave me a lot to think about. Mm, the conditions for Esbern's were quite simple. He asked that i answer a question for him and...when all was said and done, he would free Esbern and allow us to be let go. It..seemed to good to be true. Despite the suspicion, however, after answering his question, Lord Regulus disengaged Esbern's collar and he was set to be a free man! A joyous set of events indeed! But...as joyous as it was. I couldn't help but feel...frightened at our conversation. Lord Regulus asked me but a simple question. He asked if whether or not i thought King Alexander's intentions were justified. And at first, my answer was obvious. Of course, i thought it was justified! Though, with the given information that i've heard however combined with Amalia's own testimonies i....am starting to doubt the legitimacy of the King. It pains me to admit the suspicions i have of him and his wife Queen  Nebula. Lord Regulus admitted to me that the reason for the fighting was King Alexander's doing. That they are protecting themselves from a tyrannical leader. From the information i know and my own experiences with the King. He doesn't seem to be that type of person! But...Lord Regulus wouldn't lie or stoop to such lows to dissuade me either. Am...i truly fighting for the glory of a tyrannical leader? Is...fighting against Myllenoris wrong? The people don't seem like the genocidal monsters that some of the Osronan's say there are. And..i admit, it seems Lord Regulus's reasons for fighting are...reasonable. He was betrayed after all, it...only makes sense. But...what am i supposed to do? I don't know whats true and what's not. What's right and what's wrong. It's all just so murky..

I've...made my decision. I know what i must fight for. The answer was right in front of me all along. I...fight for the people. I fight for justice and truth. Not for the ideals of someone else. I've said this before, but i fight for my own ideals. I...can't forget that. I fight for Sae as i am HER sword and shield before anyone elses. Even in confusing times like these...i...need to stay true to myself and never forget what i stand for. Even if i do get lost along the way. I'm...choosing to fight in Osrona's battles. To be honest, I'm hoping for Myllenoris to win so that this bloodshed may end as soon as possible. But...i'm still going to fight for the protection of others. I can't abandon my comrades and let them die after all. I'd sully my name as a Knight if i  did so

With that in mind, i must prepare for the coming battles ahead. With Esbern now by my side...i will not falter. I will find peace and....i will find the truth. We had such a heartfelt reunion afterward. It...seems things are starting to let up now that he is a Tyr and he is getting back on his feet. Let's just hope that these fortunate turn of events don't turn into misfortune...

X/X/1738 AC

As per my usual duties, i found myself helping a young girl named Esther last night. It was...interesting to say the least. Poor girl, she must have had some sort of trauma. Her drunken shenanigans almost made me cut her head off. But, luckily, i was able to maintain my composure throughout the entire ordeal. Got her some soup and a place to rest, and...that was that. By Kraus, it was annoying but....well, such are my duties as a Knight.  I couldn't find her the next morning, sadly. I can only hope she's doing okay. I really do despise alcohol. I can't see myself drinking more than a glass of wine to be honest. I find drunks....disgusting. As much pity as I feel for them, they did put themselves in that position after all. Anyway, I also met a young girl named Paisley today. It seems she is our new maid! She's quite a polite and kind young girl, i just hope that i'm able to give her a home given the terrible circumstances she must have been through. I...want to be there for her. It's the least i can do for a victim of war, after all. She didn't deserve this. No one deserves to witness their family die in front of their eyes like that. It's...a grim reminder of what's to come. By Kraus...i just....hope that i can do my part in ending this. I'm even having second thoughts when it comes to joining the next battle. But as i said before, i need to protect my comrades. They may have abandoned me back then but, i choose not to abandon them. Call it naivety or idiocy but...part of me thinks that i wasn't purposely abandoned. Sometimes people do things that are selfish in order to save themselves in the heat of the moment. I can't blame them for that. I can't blame anyone for having to make such tough choices.

X/X/1738 AC

Well, I almost arrested Esther....again. But...luckily, i was able to give her a place to sleep and some food again. Just....this time it wasn't the soup kitchen. It...was my quarters. What am i going to do with this poor girl!?  I sure do hope she changes her ways. I...admit, i'm ashamed at me almost walking away from the problem. Someone had to talk some sense into me before i decided to do anything about this. Am...i  just becoming another Knight? It the power getting to my head? I can't believe i almost walked away from a problem because of my own fear. It's embarrassing. Pitiful, even. This is my job...my duty...and i almost walked away from it? I...i'm going to do better next time. I have too.

X/X/1738 AC

Today was quite interesting. Drama. Lot's and...lot's of drama. Mostly coming from me and my own frail heart. Mm...well, today i met a few nice folks. Rikka and Malacai being a few. Rikka was the...odd one, that was for sure. She....heh...she has some....unique traits. She's odd. But Malacai was quite a treat to talk too as well. A good boy with dreams to be a great artificer. But...back to the matter at hand, Esbern and I had a....interesting conversation. By Kraus, i almost broke down. Esbern he....stopped me from participating in the upcoming battles. Given his words, i decided it would be best for me to not participate in any more battles. I...lost my way. The realization made me almost break down. I...don't know what i'm fighting for. Sure i say protection, i say for justice, but....i-i...i can'-...i thought i was doing the right thing. I thought i was helping people, protecting people, why did he have to go and tell me i'm not!? Why did he have to go and tell me that i've forgotten my promise! I...i didnt! I....still fight for...those ideals.

At least...i think i do? Dear Kraus....i've...just become another Knight, haven't i? I-i'm too focused on glory and honor. Of being seen. I'm just making excuses at this point. Esbern tried his best to comfort me but...even now, i just feel absolutely terrible. I feel...useless. I'm such...a terrible Knight. I forgot...the very thing i was fighting for! To think he has the nerve to tell me not to fight. I-i mean...i need to take a rest and gather my thoughts. I'm not in the right mind.

/X/1739 AC

The coming battle is coming closer with each and every day. King Alexander held a speech today regarding his plans for the battle. After putting some thought into it, i have decided to act as an anchor for the forces of Osrona and not participate in the fight. Instead of sticking to the sidelines and evacuating the city and nearby villages. This task is more appropriate for me. I...do want to protect my citizens, my friends, and my King. But i don't want to fight and hurt anyone i don't need to either. There's no good side to war...and...i'd rather not have to take someone's life. Hopefully, this decision pleases Esbern. I...should be safe. Anyway, i trained in the dojo for quite a while in preparation. Athanoti being quite the foe! But...i was able to take her down. Hehe. I think i sense a rivalry brewing. Quite the bold and...loud girl. Anyway, me and Esbern talked about our future today as well. He took me to the place he proposed to me at. To think it's been four years since then! Hmph...this damn war better end soon so we can get married! But...other than that, i was remembered of a certain tale of my childhood as i flipped through the diary and reminisced with him. A tale about an ancient observatory...heh...what nonsense. Sounds...interesting though...

X/X/1739 AC

My...damn hand. It's gone. My left hand is gone. Taken by a Drakanite warrior in the midst of a battlefield. I...just got it treated today by Erehn. The past few days have been...intense, to say the least. A reminder of my mistakes now forever rests with me as i look down at my prosthetic. A reminder that....i can't be a hero. No matter how hard i try. I'll...never be able to be the person i want to be. And...maybe that's okay.

Lucky for me, my right hand is my dominant one. So...i can still write and wield my blade. Back to the matter at hand, however. No...pun intended. Myllenoris's forces were able to reach the gates of Osrona. A long, bloody battle ensued. One of chaos, death, destruction, and bloodshed. Heh...i'm used to it all by now, unfortunately. I kept to my promise and stuck to the sidelines as I evacuated the villages and the people near the gates of Osrona. While I think I was successful...war...isn't that predictable. A young Drakanite kept me from my goals and stood in my way. As much as i didn't want to fight him. As much as i didn't want to hurt him...i had no choice. But...i got cocky, scared even. And...he bested me. I failed. I failed in my duty as a Knight and as a citizen of Osrona. I...i'm no warrior, i'm no hero. I'm...i'm just a scared, meek girl. Clinging onto the idea of being able to protect others so that i can cope with my trauma. I...have to be truthful to me, after all. Though...the Drakanite said i was the noblest and chivalrous of the Knight's he's ever seen. Even inviting me to join his cause. I declined of course but....it really does put things into perspective. If i learned one thing that day...it's that...my title doesnt matter. It's...my actions that makes the person that i am. Not my nobility or title or...anything like that. *sigh, I must apologize to Eric, Inante, Atilus, and Esbern. After seeing the pain in their faces in pain for my own injuries...i...i can't be selfish anymore. I can't put myself in harm's way. I just...can't take seeing them suffer over me like that. I'll...be sure to be reckless from now on. I can't let them see me like this again. I can't lose my way again

X/X/1739 AC

The little Ember hiding in my prosthetic is quite the adorable little thing! Even as i write, he's keeping me company and keeping me warm. Heh..Atilus sure does have a way with these little things. Wonder how he does it. Anyway...i guess...having a mithril hand isn't the worst thing in the world. I...realized something today. I lost my way. I forgot why...i wanted to fight. I...just became another Knight. Another soldier. That's...not who i am. I don't fight for honor or glory i...fight for the good and justice that still exists in this world. Esbern made me realize...i can't lose my way again. And i don't plan on ever doing so. I'm Astrid and...no one can ever change that. Anyway...with that out of the way, we made plans with Uri to set sail to this observatory soon. Does it exist? Who knows! But it sounds like quite the fun adventure

X/X/1739 AC

I didn't know such scum existed. It...makes me angry. Furious even! I can't even keep my hand steady. Eric...h-he...almost lost his life today! Luckily, things are alright, i'm watching over him right now but...to think i'd be swindled over a life-threatening injury! I guess it's best i explain things. I was patrolling the market and i heard gurgling, after investigating the source, it was my brother choking on his blood! Right in the middle of the square! That jester...he was trying to swindle us in order to treat him. Demanding over 1000 coins! His goons kept rising the price the more we tried to negotiate. My Kraus, if i had lost my composure i would...cut his head off right then and there. I'm...not normally like this, but seeing my brother dying on the street was....awful. That damn clown....if i ever see him enter my city again i'll promptly throw him in a jail cell. Osrona has no place for such folk like him! Even...i know that. Luckily, Eric is okay. Uri came in just in time to treat him. I'll spend the next few days making sure he recovers. 

X/X/1739 AC

Sometimes the truth....is more unbelievable than fiction. I...was given the full truth to this war today. Thanks to Esbern and...well...mm..maybe it's best i don't say much. But...i discovered a lot today. Both sides...are truly in the wrong for this war. No matter who wins....there is no good outcome. I know that now. I can't say much out of fear of someone reading and discovering my journal but....with these newfound truths. I...realize...i was fighting for a useless war. Sure, i was fighting for the protection and justice of others. But for my King? For Osrona? Such things weren't true. King Alexander is a good man, but...he has lost his way for a reason that's darker than any lie anyone might come up with. One that...even i still have a hard time believing. I can't do anything. Even with this newfound information and truths...i....need to keep my mouth shut and heed Esbern's words. I need to lay low and refrain in participating in any battles until this war blows over. He...will take care of everything. I just have to focus on my duties as a Knight and help as much as i can with the war effort without fighting. Everything...will be okay. I need to survive. For Esbern's sake. For...everyone

X/X/1740 AC

I can't believe i was serving the whims of a Witch for this entire war..

I knew about this ever since my conversation with Esbern, of course. But...for Lady Ophelia to admit to it during King Alexander's speech. My, my....i guess it's true after all. I...don't even know what to think. The...witch wanted to capture and kill both Lady Marie and Lady Ophelia. Execute them for their crimes against the crown. Hmph. What blasphemy. I....needed a break after all that drama in the square, admittedly. Lucky for me, Uri's boat was setting sail soon. As i write, we are currently on our way to that ancient observatory i want to know so much about! As much as it pains me to leave such an event in Osrona...i'm sure everyone there will be able to take care of it. For now...adventure awaits! But dear Kraus, i hope i get out this boat soon. I...haven't felt this sick since the last time Eric cooked dinner...

X/X/1740 AC

Osrona...is in complete and utter shambles.

But..before i write about that, i need to speak about my adventure. Heh...all things considered, i shouldn't be alive. But...it was quite the story, i'll admit. Spelunking, traps, adventuring, crazy psycho trees, a....one eyed wolf. This trek to the ancient observatory was certainly something and...while i didn't find while i was looking for...i found something arguably more important. I realized...the importance of the allies by my side

The adventure was long and grueling, almost took me, Esbern, and Uri a full day to reach the mountain from the forest. Let alone climb it. Even then, i was doubting such an ancient place even being real. But lo and behold...it was! You can imagine my excitement when i arrived! The first obstacle in our way, a tree....it uh...put up a fight. I...honestly am surprised i escaped such dangerous encounters with nothing but a few scratches and my mana circuits...well, fried. But...Esbern and Uri having my back, fighting for me, feeling pain for me. It made me realize what's important. As much as i want to protect innocents and the people of Osrona, i can't lose my way when it comes to my allies. *sigh. Anyway, the tree was quite the fearsome and ugly foe. So much happened in such a little time! But i'll keep it short. I was able to defeat it with the help of Uri and Esbern. After exploring the temple and spelunking, we found ourselves at the top of the observatory. Where we...met a one eyed wolf. While at first our first instinct was to defend ourselves, he was...nice. He...just seemed lonely. Uri took quite the liking to him, even naming him 'Mono'. But...good things don't last long. I...made a foolish mistake and looked upward into the starts using the telescope he was protecting. And...we were pit against a deadly battle against this massive wolf. I...couldn't find the willpower to fight him. Niether did Uri. While they suffered quite gruesome injuries, Esbern was able to finally kill Mono. Much to...me and Uri's dismay. Why did he have to die? Was...my goals more important that it granted we kill him? It...was awful, to say the least. Even now, i pray that Mono's soul reaches the Stars. We...left the temple with quite a few rare artifacts. A focusing Iris, some very strong wood, Mono's eye, and...some arcanium from the telescope. I...might study this iris further, along with the wood. Uri took the eye and...Esbern took the arcanium. *sigh. As enlightening as this journey was...it made me realize just how fleeting life was. Something that i was further reminded of once i got back to Osrona

According to the townsfolk and Atilus, Nebula...truly was a witch. Controlling King Alexander like a puppet and controlling the war from the sidelines. She..attacked her people, killed Marie, killed...so many. And what was i doing? Spelunking on my own...selfish adventure. I'm ashamed that i wasn't there for my people when i needed them. But...never again. Never again will i forget who i am..

X/X/1740 AC

My injuries are ungodly at the moment. I...feel so much pain. It was foolish of me to further strain my mana circuits while recovering from the adventure. But...amidst all of this strife and chaos. I...needed to find an answer

With King Alexander out of commission from his possession, Osrona is a mess. Even with Prince Odin as our leader, morale is at its lowest point. Even i am feeling the effects of it. I...needed to find my answer. And...using the Iris from the telescope above that mountain...i was finally able to do so. I was able to gaze into the stars..

Using Atilus's help, i was able to finally meet Sae and...talk to her. She wanted me to come up into the stars with her. To give me a chance at rebirth... I denied. I chose to keep living. And i chose to keep being the person i am. I...am Astrid cos Salis. And while i may not be able to be the hero i want to be. I...can still be me. The ritual i was able to commence gave me a glimpse into the stars above. A glimpse into how beautiful things...can really be. I heard the voices of those who had met their demise. Calling onto me, telling me to keep going and...live for them. So that's what i intend to do. Even though some of my comrades are gone, i...choose to live for them. To make this world a better place so that they may be reborn into a better tomorrow. That...ritual was enough to completely and utterly fry my mana circuits. But...i was able to take a glimpse into new power. I feel....reborn. Like a new person. And...i don't intend to ever lose my way again

The Iris was a little damaged during the ritual, but...it was nothing that can't be fixed. Esbern gave me the idea to use it to create a blade for me. A legendary whip sword that uses the Iris at it's base to focus and harness cosmic energies. Quite a powerful weapon! Am...i truly worthy to wield something like that? Well, either way, my husband sure does seem excited about making it for me. I'll just...have to wait and see. With my new self, i'll try to become the best person i can be for him. For...everyone.

X/X/1740 AC

With word of Prince Odin being kidnapped, i find my duties becoming ever so troublesome. We don't even know where he is at the moment! With the coming battle on the horizon. It just...makes things worse. I just hope we're able to find him s-...oh, dear. The King is calling for us. Might have to pause this entry for the time being..

My, my...what a predicament.

After calling for our assistance, the King led us to the depths of the underground sewers. Where Prince Odin is said to be kept for ransom. To think that he was captured by...sewer dwellers! My, my. Anyway, a bloody and...quite gruesome siege occurred. Alot happened, but...to keep it short. We were able to successfully push back the sewer dwellers and rescue Prince Odin. While he was gravely injured, his wounds seem to be treatable. *sigh. So much bloodshed...it's unfortunate that i'm used to such things by now. I captured two sewer dwellers during the battle by the name of Lin Mo and Silat. Quite interesting individuals. They...seem to be mostly drugged up on Sylvanum, but...after talking to them, i realized...as bad as their crimes are, it's....okay for people to think differently than you. Even if i believe it's wrong...you just...simply have to accept things for how they are sometimes. The Silat girl seemed to be quite the treat to talk to, i'll admit, even if she was a criminal. But...even if they are criminals, their also people too. I'm going to try my best to make sure they are not executed in the coming days. The war is...going to come to a close soon and i'm not planning on participating in the coming battle. I'll keep watch and do something else instead so that i can keep my promise to Esbern. I'm still contemplating on their crimes and their punishments. Execution is not an option. I don't believe in such things. But...they stll need to be punished for their crimes. While i know it wont happen, here's hoping they can change their ways.

X/X/1740 AC

This is probably my last entry before the next battle. I...am not going to participate, as i said before. Mm...i had a girl take my fortune today. Her name was...Piper. Quite the sweet girl, if not a little shrewd and coy. While i'm not one for superstitions, she told me i was in for a 'grand' future. At the cost that i lose something dear to me. It...scared me, actually. Very much. What if...it turns out to be true? Well, i guess those things don't matter at the moment. I...need to prepare for the coming battle for the next few days. It's important i stay on guard and stay on my toes after all. The next entry i write....hopefully the war will be over and...everything will be okay. Maybe i can make on Marie's promise and help with the opening of the Academy. Heh..i'll see. Time is running short. The future of Esshar and it's people await....

I know what i must fight for....